IM - thoughts and things I learned...

In talking to people before the race (both on race day and weeks leading up to it) it was interesting to hear their perspective. Most of my friends would ask how long each section was and ask how I felt, just coming off 5 weeks of low energy levels. But if I was talking to a triathlete, all they wanted to know was what my goal time was (and maybe how prepared I felt b/c I had done such a low mileage training program). Thinking about that and meeting more of the extremist tri folk has confirmed in me that I don't ever want to be so focused on performance and times (and really don't want to be grouped with the folks who are). I'm even changing the title of this blog (formerly "from potential to performance"), b/c performance doesn't define me and I don't want to give even the impression that it is a priority. One of the many things I've learned while training for this race is that Perseverance is more important than performance - a heart, mind & soul commitment to not give up, to maintain Hope, to keep moving no matter what comes my way.

This has been a challenging year for me and my resolve was tested to the point that I asked God if I was supposed to step away from training altogether. It really got to that point, after struggling through mono in the spring, to have to battle fatigue again in the middle of summer when I am usually at my active peak (and 2 months before the longest race of my life), to have to take the elevator up to our 3rd floor apartment b/c if I took the stairs I'd have to lay on the couch for an hour and may not feel like doing anything else for the rest of the night. It broke me. But I believed that I was not supposed to give up training, but instead, give up a focus on performance and what I could do in MY strength. Put simply: humble myself and consider every good thing a "gift from above", a gift that is meant to be enjoyed AND to give Glory to God. This was a lesson I needed to learn as I've always been the overly determined person who believed in the mantra "if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything". This originated way back as a teenager when I felt like I was on my own to make something of myself and I wasn't going to ask for anyone's help or rely on anyone too much along the way. While I believe determination is a good thing, I had to realize that independence is not; meaning that I must not be determined on achieving things on my own without help from God/others. I needed to be broken to the point that I had to rely on God for the strength to get through each day, that I had to rely on my wife and others to maintain Hope and focus. That pride had to be broken off of me and I had to come to the point of desiring the support of others and giving God the credit for anything that I am able to accomplish.

Considering all that, it was truly special to have some family and friends there with me at the race, to have them cheering me on and sharing in the excitement before, the challenge during and the accomplishment at the finish. Though there were moments where I felt lonely and worn down, I could trust in the love of those waiting for me at the finish and in the strength of my Father upholding me with His mighty hand and that brought me the comfort and confidence I needed to become an Ironman. I now feel like I wouldn't want it any other way.

thanks to everyone who shared in this journey with me, whether through an encouraging word, a shared meal or joining me in the few workouts I actually did complete. I must give special props to the following:
God - for giving me the ability and strength to train, race and finish.
whit - for believing in me, for telling me to get off the couch & train, but also letting me rest when I really didn't have the energy to move
chris - for making me get up for those early morning swim workouts and many other CF WODS
**also thanks for being the amazing estimator for the crew so that they always knew when to expect me at various points on the course.
tony - for keeping things loose & fun and always asking me to ride (even though I often bailed)
mom - cooking for us race weekend and keeping whit calm while I was in the water
CF & CFE - some great programming and for teaching me the POSE
heather fink - for spot on food plan

thanks again to all...

IM WI : the Run

I saw the crew as I was coming out of T2 and they were encouraging me and lifting me up. Chris also reminded me that he was expecting a sub 4-hour marathon time; this was good in that it gave me a goal and pace to shoot for. I started easy, trying to follow the same plan as the swim and bike. I was glad to not have too much pain in my feet from the bike and I felt pretty good considering I'd been racing for over 9 hours.

I must share briefly about what I believe to be the biggest physical factor that prepared me for and sustained me thru the race. All those close to me know that I've been raving about the CrossFit (CF) workout program for a while now and this year added the CrossFit Endurance (CFE) program as well. CF is a total body program that IMO, gives you a superior level of fitness and prepares you for any physical challenge you may face. CFE compliments CF by adding endurance building workouts for the triathletes/adventure racers/ultra runners/etc. Until this past winter I was only casually following the workouts, picking and choosing which ones I wanted to do. Once I committed 100% I was amazed at how much stronger and "fitter" I got. The biggest additions for me were the squats & deadlifts as I had never really worked my legs and as a result had tight, weak legs. I could run for days, but ask me to pick something heavy off the ground and I could feel my hamstrings twinge. But once I started doing those exercises with actual heavy weight (not just 20# dumbbells), my legs got stronger and I got faster. The CFE plan is lots of short, intense intervals and some tempo & TT work. I had committed this spring to using only CF & CFE to train for the IM, rather than the traditional high-mileage/time-heavy program. I also totally changed my running form this spring; after 20+ years of running, I did my best to switch from being a heel-striker to a forefoot/barefoot style (also called POSE) runner. It wasn't easy to retrain myself but I loved how easy POSE running felt and after the CFE cert I was certain it was going to pay off huge for me in races. So, to summarize, though I was coming in w/ less mileage (a LOT less due to the fatigue) than most, I felt by being stronger my body wouldn't break down as much as most (as the CFE guys pointed out: from the mid-pack on, you see a lot of broken down bodies coming across the line at IM).
ok, back to the run...

I breezed through the first mile in 7:50 and had to battle my conscience. Part of me wanted to put the hammer down and bust out a 3:30 marathon, but then I remembered that other than my 1/2 IM race, my longest run of the year was about 8 miles and decided to ease off a bit. From that point on, I tried to run a steady low 8 minutes-per-mile pace between aid stations and then stop and walk at each one, while grabbing something to eat/drink. It was tough to slow down and walk ("I wanna go fast!") but I knew I still needed to get calories and liquids into my system to avoid bonking. I alternated b/t gatorade and water and occasionally would take a piece of orange or banana (I could no longer stomach the sweetness of the gels, after avoiding sugar for the past 2 months I had already taken in much more than my body was used to). The run course was by far the funnest b/c there were people cheering the entire way. I ran around the cool parts of downtown and then thru the Univ of WI campus. My race bib also had my name on it, so many people were able to call my name as they cheered, which makes a huge difference.

As I was in the back of the pack, the only quick runners around me were on their 2nd lap. That being said, I only remember getting passed by a few people, one of whom I caught at the finish. While most others were going at a 10:00 mile pace, I was still going at low 8:00's and felt like I was flying past people. It was encouraging, but also frustrating b/c there was no one to pace off of, I was entirely on my own. As I made my way to the halfway point (which happened to be right next to the finish) I began to get really emotional. I tried to hold back the tears but kept losing my breath and would have to suck in a huge amount of air to keep from hyperventilating. I knew I would see whit and the crew and didn't want to freak them out so I pulled myself together as I approached them and didn't stop, just told them to pray for me and kept going.

Turning around just before the finish to start my 2nd lap was really tough. Many others were running past me down the finish shoot and I was jealous and frustrated that I was now running away from the finish line. This brought back the emotions and I tried not to break down as I can't imagine how crazy it would be to see some guy sobbing while running, but then maybe that's more common in the Ironman. Some guy was holding a sign that said "savor every moment" and I caught myself actually saying "OK, I will" out loud to him as I ran past. I could go on & on with more details and feel free to ask, but the main focus on the last 13 miles was to just keep moving. My knees were hurting pretty bad as my form was breaking down and I was pounding the ground rather than lightly stepping, I was hungry for real food and as it got dark I felt more lonely. there were less and less people out cheering towards the back of the course (mile 18-22) and my mind got weak. I rationalized that I didn't care what time I got so there was no point in running hard and that most everyone around me was walking so I might as well walk too. I also began praying out loud, asking God to help get me home. Needing more fuel, I now took some coke at the aid stations and twice took chicken broth (surprisingly tasty and filling!); I wouldn't let myself have any cookies...

I knew if I got to mile 20 in 3 hours, I would have a chance to finish the run in under 4 hours. Once I did that I determined to not slow down and if I had a slow mile, I would punish myself by running even harder the next mile. Some guy came out of nowhere to pass me and I followed him to the next aid station, where he stopped and I never saw him again. Regardless, it felt great to run fast (that mile was around 7:45) and I pushed on, wanting to finish as soon as possible, if only to finally be able to lay down. I didn't stop for the last 3 miles, didn't want to give myself a chance to rest and possibly not get going again. As I approached downtown and the crowds my confidence grew and I piled it on. I'm pretty sure the last mile was all uphill, at least that's how it felt, but I would not let myself slow down. I focused on the POSE - light, quick steps and if I slowed, I would lean forward to speed up again. I came to the line going as fast as I could and then had to slow down as there was a group of guys all finishing together and didn't want to get in their way. I heard them say my name and "you are an Ironman", but that didn't hit me like I thought it would; partly b/c the mis-pronounced my name and partly b/c at that point, I didn't need him to say it to know it - every part of my body knew it and felt it.

The crew was there waiting for me and I cried as whit hugged me and this time I didn't hold back. After hugs all around, I got some fruit and water and just wanted to sit down. It was truly an epic day and I felt thankful and blessed to have had the opportunity & strength to finish the race. I wasn't alone in the battle and it felt good to have God & the crew lifting me up all day.

run time: 3:55 rank: 182/2397
finish time: 13:23:39 rank: 1174/2397 (I passed 800+ people on the run)

That's pretty much all I have to say about that...

IM WI : a long HILLY bike ride

Many people had told me about the bike course being hilly, but since I never drove any of the course I really didn't know what to expect. To put it in perspective for the locals, the terrain was very similar to Brown Co./southern IN. If you are driving, it's lots of beautiful rolling hills. If you are on a bike however, it is a lot of shifting, climbing and descending. I got above 30 mph coasting down hills at least 15 times, with a max speed of 42.8 mph!

I went out at an easy pace, trying to not push up any of the hills and only went faster when it was flat and the pavement was smooth. There were only a couple hundred people behind of me at this point, but there still seemed to be a steady stream of people passing me. By halfway through the first loop the leaders passed by (on their 2nd loop) and I got to see how crazy fast they were going up the hills. 3/4 of each loop was along country roads, passing mostly farms and a few neighborhoods. It was scenic, but it was also kind of lonely as you're pretty much out there by yourself since you can't ride near anyone else for fear of a drafting penalty. I tried to keep it above 15 mph and let my mind wander again, thinking about what I wanted to tell the crew when I saw them next.

The last 1/4 of the loop was much more exciting. First is a pass thru a small town with some great volunteers and then I came up to the steepest and longest hills on the course. These turned out to be a lot of fun b/c a ton of people were along the hill cheering (a la the Tour de France), shouting and encouraging all the riders. One guy had a big grill out, cooking burgers & brats & drinking Fat Tire (all which sounded really good at the time). they had painted a bunch of stuff on the road and there was even the token fan in the speedo (again, a la le Tour). Having people there made so much difference, I wanted to get out of the saddle and sprint up the hill, pretending to be leading a break up the Alpe d'Huez. I resisted and saved my legs for the 2nd loop; but thanked all the fans along the way. Shortly after leaving the hills, I came into the town of Verona, where I expected to see the support crew and more crowds. The main street through the town was all blocked off for us and there was a big crowd cheering everyone that came by. I was able to spot my crew thanks to the big signs they had made and stopped to chat for a bit. It was so good to see them, but also tough b/c I knew it would be several hours before I made it back to them.

I tried to push the pace a bit more the 2nd loop, but it was definitely harder. My legs were holding up well, but my feet began to really hurt (the pads of my feet where they made contact w/the pedals), my neck got more and more sore and my "seat" got more uncomfortable. I would try stand up to give my seat rest, but that would put more pressure on my feet. I sat up tall to relieve my neck, but that slowed me down. All I could do for my feet was try to pull more than push on the pedals, but that seemed to only provide a few moments of relief. This is another example of how mental this race is - there are so many moments where you have to tell yourself to keep going, to not slow down, to take care of your body.

Speaking of that, I had met with a sports nutritionist (Heather Fink @ NIFS) and she helped me come up with a complete food plan for the race. I am so thankful for her help as it is one of the big reasons I was able to keep going at a steady pace all day. She had me eating every 45 minutes on the bike, in addition to drinking 20+ oz of fluid every hour. It was 80+ degrees on race day, so I knew the liquids and salt tabs were extremely important and so I did my best to stay on track. In total, I drank 4-5 bottles of water, 2.5 bottles of gatorade, ate 3 bars (hammer & lara), 3 bananas and 3 gels. More than I would've ever eaten on my own, but I'm sure that it helped me stay on track to finish strong. This may be the first race that I actually did well with my nutrition, as I never had any major cramps or dehydration issues.

I made it back thru the tough hills ok, still had plenty left in the legs. After I stopped to use the bathroom (yes, I stopped each time and enjoyed the break rather than soiling myself for the sake of saving a few minutes) at about 90 miles I felt pretty good and pushed hard to the finish. I got to see the crew again as I passed thru Verona and there were definitely a lot fewer people out, but I expected that being at the back of the pack again. I got to hear that Chris and Tony were enjoying all the local fare on my behalf and that made me smile. I cruised to the finish, trying to go as fast as I could without hurting my feel or neck any more than necessary. Got to T2 and was so happy to take off the bike shorts and not be sitting down any longer.

bike time: 7:32 rank: 2053/2397 (I actually passed a few people! or they might have just dropped out...)

IRONMAN WI : Race Day & the Swim

the official race report. No chance of me being succinct, so put into multiple posts...


My hope for the race was to negative split each section (swim-bike-run) of the course since they were all 2 loop courses, so that meant going out easy and building up to a sustainable pace. Also, I really wanted to be able to run the entire marathon; I've walked most of a marathon before and that is no fun. It's painful, disheartening and plain LONG.

I woke up a bit after 4am and tried to get my mind & body moving along. My neck/back still hurt so I worked on that w/ the massage ball while my mom cooked up breakfast (eggs w/ green peppers & bacon and some fresh fruit). Since I had to drop off everything for the bike and run the day before, all I had to do before the race was pump up my bike tires and get my wetsuit on. I knew the race area would be nuts, so I really wasn't in a hurry to get there. The more serious racer would want to get there early, check all equipment 5 times and then stand in the bathroom line for 45 minutes before/after a thorough warmup. I am not that guy. I rolled in about an hour before the race start, pumped up the tires, got body marked (w/ my race #), waited in bathroom line for 15 minutes, then had about 10 minutes to get my suit on and walk down to the water. No time for a warmup, but then I hadn't done a warmup for any other race I've done this year, so that's nothing new.

As I approached the water they sang the national anthem and I got a bit emotional (not common for me) which surprised me a bit but was cool too, as I was truly soaking in the moment. Expecting to swim slower than most, my goal was to try to stay out of the way and simply swim a steady pace the whole way. The swim was a deep water start meaning all 2,400 racers would be in the water at once, rather than jumping in every few seconds. The result is cool to see from outside the water, but in the water it feels like complete chaos. After the disaster at my 1/2 IM, I wanted to have some time to get comfortable in the water before having to deal with other crazies trying to claw their way past. I couldn't have asked for a better start; I was way in the back on the outside and as the gun sounded, I just swam down the long stretch towards the first turn and really didn't have anyone else around me. I got boxed in a bit on the backstretch and had to go much wider to avoid constantly bumping into people. I started my 2nd lap right on pace and except for a lot of swerving I didn't have any problems. I was swimming well within my ability and thinking about all kinds of random things (who I forgot to call, what it must look like from the shore, if there was any way my support team would be able to find me - they did). The only bad part was that in the rush to get my suit on I kind've got my boys squeezed the wrong way and after 90 minutes they were screaming to get out of that suit...

I got out of the water and could finally hear the thousands of people cheering along the ramp up to T1, which was very cool. I was met by the "strippers" (volunteers who help strip the wetsuit off you) and I thought they would help me get unzipped and give me a shoulder to lean on while I took the suit off. Instead, they asked me to lay down on the ground and a person took each side and stripped the suit off in a few seconds. I had forgotten to tighten my swim shorts/jammers, not being prepared for this and so was glad that they didn't come off as well. Then I ran up the ramp to the parking garage and there saw my crew - tony and chris had climbed a tree (hilarious) and I saw the relief on whit's face that I hadn't drowned. so far so good...

swim time: 1:34 rank: 2067/2397

IRONMAN WI : Pre-race

I was able to get into town late on Thursday night, so I had 2 full days to get stuff done and check out the city before the race. I was amazed at how cool Madison is and how bike-friendly it is as well. there are bike lanes and racks all around downtown and the UW campus and people were actually using them! I do wonder how this all looks/works when winter hits though.

Friday morning Chris, Tony & I went to the race site to get a test swim in the lake and then to take a short bike ride before I got registered. The test swim was kind of important b/c I had never worn a wetsuit before and I needed to see how it felt and fit in the water (better to know ahead of time rather than a mile into the swim). After that, the short bike ride turned into a 2 hour tour of the city and campus, but we were going at an easy pace so no harm done. We went to the race expo to sign in and check things out and all of us started feeling the excitement of the pre-race atmosphere.

There's a huge IM store there, with all kinds of logo clothes, gear, etc. You only get a race shirt if you actually finish the race and while I was not doubting my chances of finishing, I definitely wasn't leaving there empty handed. I passed on the $60 "tech" long sleeve and settled for a $25 cotton long sleeve t-shirt.

Whit and my mom got into town by late afternoon, which was about the time we finally decided where to eat lunch. We got lured into the "endless" soup and salad deal and all ate more than we should of (except for maybe Tony, I don't know if there is an upper limit to what he can eat) and left stuffed. After a short nap at the hotel, chris and I tried to do a tempo run but both of us were having trouble moving very fast w/ still-full stomachs. So, we settled for a ez run and some push-ups and squats and stretching. That night we went back downtown to have a tasty beverage at The Great Dane, a prime local pub. I'm not gonna lie, it was a tasty local brew(but I did limit myself to 1).

Saturday I woke up w/ a nasty knot in my upper back/lower neck, I'm assuming from the result of a stiff pillow and soft mattress refusing to work together for the optimal alignment of my spine. In any case, my neck hurt and it was not comfortable. We went back to the race expo to check out more of the vendors and to look into a massage for my back. One of the vendors was Trigger Point, a company that sells massage devices that allow you to self-treat tight spots in your soleus', calves and piraformis. So, instead of paying a professional to work the pain out of me, I bought the equipment so I could bring myself to tears in the privacy of my own home...

After that we went to a few local bike shops that did not suck. Whit and I both found cool "must-have" bike T's and I even scored a $50 QR wetsuit (marked down from $300!). It's ok, "it didn't come out of the travel fund; I sold some stuff before we left..." After another long day of walking around we went back to the hotel to cook up an early dinner and I tried to relax and not think about the long day that awaited me. to be honest, I wasn't nervous about how I would do because I had taken all the pressure off myself long ago (b/c of fatigue issues preventing me from training for 5 weeks) and was taking the AR approach : race within your ability, be smart and enjoy the experience. and with that mindset, I fell asleep & got a solid 6 hours of sleep.