IM - thoughts and things I learned...

In talking to people before the race (both on race day and weeks leading up to it) it was interesting to hear their perspective. Most of my friends would ask how long each section was and ask how I felt, just coming off 5 weeks of low energy levels. But if I was talking to a triathlete, all they wanted to know was what my goal time was (and maybe how prepared I felt b/c I had done such a low mileage training program). Thinking about that and meeting more of the extremist tri folk has confirmed in me that I don't ever want to be so focused on performance and times (and really don't want to be grouped with the folks who are). I'm even changing the title of this blog (formerly "from potential to performance"), b/c performance doesn't define me and I don't want to give even the impression that it is a priority. One of the many things I've learned while training for this race is that Perseverance is more important than performance - a heart, mind & soul commitment to not give up, to maintain Hope, to keep moving no matter what comes my way.

This has been a challenging year for me and my resolve was tested to the point that I asked God if I was supposed to step away from training altogether. It really got to that point, after struggling through mono in the spring, to have to battle fatigue again in the middle of summer when I am usually at my active peak (and 2 months before the longest race of my life), to have to take the elevator up to our 3rd floor apartment b/c if I took the stairs I'd have to lay on the couch for an hour and may not feel like doing anything else for the rest of the night. It broke me. But I believed that I was not supposed to give up training, but instead, give up a focus on performance and what I could do in MY strength. Put simply: humble myself and consider every good thing a "gift from above", a gift that is meant to be enjoyed AND to give Glory to God. This was a lesson I needed to learn as I've always been the overly determined person who believed in the mantra "if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything". This originated way back as a teenager when I felt like I was on my own to make something of myself and I wasn't going to ask for anyone's help or rely on anyone too much along the way. While I believe determination is a good thing, I had to realize that independence is not; meaning that I must not be determined on achieving things on my own without help from God/others. I needed to be broken to the point that I had to rely on God for the strength to get through each day, that I had to rely on my wife and others to maintain Hope and focus. That pride had to be broken off of me and I had to come to the point of desiring the support of others and giving God the credit for anything that I am able to accomplish.

Considering all that, it was truly special to have some family and friends there with me at the race, to have them cheering me on and sharing in the excitement before, the challenge during and the accomplishment at the finish. Though there were moments where I felt lonely and worn down, I could trust in the love of those waiting for me at the finish and in the strength of my Father upholding me with His mighty hand and that brought me the comfort and confidence I needed to become an Ironman. I now feel like I wouldn't want it any other way.

thanks to everyone who shared in this journey with me, whether through an encouraging word, a shared meal or joining me in the few workouts I actually did complete. I must give special props to the following:
God - for giving me the ability and strength to train, race and finish.
whit - for believing in me, for telling me to get off the couch & train, but also letting me rest when I really didn't have the energy to move
chris - for making me get up for those early morning swim workouts and many other CF WODS
**also thanks for being the amazing estimator for the crew so that they always knew when to expect me at various points on the course.
tony - for keeping things loose & fun and always asking me to ride (even though I often bailed)
mom - cooking for us race weekend and keeping whit calm while I was in the water
CF & CFE - some great programming and for teaching me the POSE
heather fink - for spot on food plan

thanks again to all...